Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Seven Months Later...

It has been about seven or so months since I've last written, and a lot has happened since then.

We moved in June, to a bigger apartment, in a safer location (in my opinion). Less than 2 weeks after we moved, there was a shooting in front of the building across from ours. It was drug related, and the gentleman did not survive. I understand that you cannot dodge drugs by any means, no matter where you live, however there's a difference between knowing it's going on and actually seeing it. I used to be afraid that I would see something I wasn't supposed to and that myself or my family would suffer because of it. It's also a little hard to explain to your very curious five year old when he sees an exchange going on and you tell him to not stare at people simply out of fear. Thank goodness we moved! Chase's behavior has changed dramatically since we moved, and he is only scared to go to bed when it's thunderstorming outside. 

Although I'm happy that we moved, of course you can't have anything positive without throwing something negative in there. The first day after we moved in, our neighbors complained about us, and wrote us a letter. Okay, you didn't even give me a day to get my stuff into my apartment, cut me some slack. It's not my fault you go to bed at 8. So I now close my bedroom door at 8pm, and don't let the boys in there. But of course, they've still come upstairs to ask us to "quiet down" when the boys have not done ANYTHING. This past Saturday he came upstairs five minutes before the boys were going to bed and he asked us to have them quiet down. They were playing with their cars. Quietly in the living room, our bedroom door was already closed. Seriously? If you want things to be quiet 24/7, you should have picked a different community to live in, where you don't have people living above you. It's apartment living! I dealt with it when I had neighbors upstairs, and you take that risk when you choose to live downstairs. I'm still giving them the benefit of the doubt (who knows, maybe they had a headache), and I still haven't gone to the office about their complaining. But the next time they come upstairs when my kids are simply being kids at normal hours, you bet I'll be in the office first thing to let them know what's going on. I don't pay a ton of money to live here and get complained about when I'm not doing anything wrong. Okay, vent over :)

This year has been very hard for me. The beginning of the year was filled with a lot of stress. Between not being a full time associate, living in a place that I hated, and my two best friends moving away, it was hard. One of my friends has since returned (she was in the Disney College Program in Florida until May). I've gotten the opportunity to hang out with her some since she's been back, but things honestly aren't the same :(. My other friend, however, is most likely not going to move back here. While I understand, I'm still really sad. I miss our talks and doing laundry, and just hanging out and drinking Mike's Hard Margaritas. She was one of the few people that understood I couldn't just drop everything and everyone (my boys) in order to hang out. She would always tell me to bring them along, and although I'm sure they annoyed her, she never once complained. I'm happy for her though. She's a ZMS in Maryland, with plans to go into the Assistant Manager program and possibly move to Tennessee. You go girl! I'm so proud of her. Since June, however, things have gotten WAY better. I no longer have to commute an hour to get to work and back (driving from Blackwood to West Deptford back to Deptford, and then from Deptford to West Deptford to Blackwood, ugh!) I save so much not only on gas, but on time, which to me is really important. I'd rather be able to lay around with the boys in our house, than have to talk to them in the back seat. I also have a washer and dryer in my apartment, so I no longer need to take an entire day off to do it, I can just throw a load in here and there. I can truly say I am 100% happy with every aspect of my life. 

With being more happy, my relationship with T has flourished (is that the right word to use?) It has never been this good. Ever. We actually spend more time with each other, and put our phones down when we're around each other. We work together as a team to keep our house a home. He helps me, I help him. We have recently been talking about marriage, which really excites me. I just hope this is truly what he wants. I feel like he wants to but something is holding him back. That's bothersome. 

Chase is now five and a half (crazy, right?), and Shane is about to turn 21 months old (almost 2, oh my). They are both their own individual. Seriously, they are so different. Shane is a monster. He destructs EVERYTHING. You give him a bottle of water, cup of milk, juice, cereal, banana, oranges, anything, and it gets poured on the floor. He's a terror. The tantrums that he throws are absolutely unbelievable at times, and I have no idea how I just allow him to throw his fit, because any other time I normally would freak out. Chase, on the other hand is a mix. He's so kind hearted (well both boys are, Shane's just doesn't show as much), and willing to help others, but at the same time he has quite the attitude. He's in preschool again this year, we didn't think that he was ready for kindergarten yet. Best decision I've ever made. I can already see a difference. He's excited to get up and go to school, he doesn't fight me. He participates so much and helps out while he's in school. I have to give him hugs and kisses in the car before we go inside because he always gets so excited he runs inside without saying bye. It's sad, because I feel like he's growing up way too fast, but at the same time I'm happy that he's being so independent. 

As for work. Wow, a lot has changed there. A lot of my fellow co workers are moving up, going to other areas, getting new jobs altogether. It's crazy. I'm happy for each and every one of them, but I feel as though things are going to get worse before they get better. That scares me. I can deal with change, even though it takes me awhile to get used to it, but when things get worse before they get better, it's hard to adapt. I'm sure things will be just fine, it's just going to take time.

I feel like I've gotten so much of my chest, but I have so much more I need to get off my chest. Oh well, another day. 

22 days.

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