I'm not even sure where to start.. or how to start. I'll just make a list :)
1. I wish people would stop just assuming I want to find a new job. Sure, it'd be nice to find something that I want, but I have really high expectations right now, and I doubt anywhere is going to hire me with them, so I'll pass on the "new job" thing. I appreciate the suggestions, but please, just stop. You. Make. Me. Feel. Like. A. Failure.
2. I wish I was appreciated more, or at least felt more appreciated. At work, at home, with friends, wherever. I feel like I'm just there, just a person. I do a good thing at work? Tell me. You thought about me? Tell me. You want to hang out? Tell me!
3. I wish I was rich. Not "millionaire" rich, but have enough money so I'm not living paycheck to paycheck "rich". Granted, I am rich, I am so blessed with my two boys, friends, and other family, but having enough money to be able to pay my bills would just put the icing on the cake.. preferably chocolate :)
4. I'm tired of where I live. It's not a bad neighborhood, it's actually quite nice, as is the apartment that I live in. But I want a change. Somewhere with a washer and dryer hookup, bigger kitchen, 3 bedrooms, a den as well as a living room. And a place that gives me ideas on how to decorate my "home".. because right now, I don't feel at home :-/.
5. Lately, I've been thinking more and more about the tattoo that I want, and I REALLY want it now. Going back to #3, I wish I could just randomly up and decide to go get it.. have someone draw up my idea and then BAM say "okay".. Maybe sometime soon?
6. I have started art journaling lately, and to be honest, it has really helped me. On the days that I have time to, I think about an issue/problem/situation that has been bothering me all day long (some of you know an anniversary came up recently of mine.. yeah art journaled about it).. and I just come up with colors or a scene to draw out and just do it. My first one was words written on the page, a hundred words of things I liked, disliked, how I felt, etc, and then I colored over them with marker. Drew a huge $ and colored that in as well, since money is my biggest fear/issue currently. And then wrote "expectation" on top in paint. It seems like everyone has expectations of you, no matter who they are and how they know you. You can either use the expectations to make yourself stronger and show people their expectations are no match for you, or you can simply tell them to shove their expectations up their ass, your choice :)
Ah I think that's enough for now..
Friday, July 20, 2012
After going through my entire blog, I decided to delete all of the posts. Why, you ask? Simply because 95% of it was negative. Granted, I see having a blog almost as a way to vent to the world how you are feeling, but really, who cares? Who really cares enough to read through all of the bullshit that I complained about, when I really had no control over any of it?Anyway, from here on out it will simply be positive posting, or funny stories that I have to tell.